The First, the Few and the Only — Deepa Purushothaman

The First, the Few and the only written by Deepa is a roadmap towards making a deep & profound impact as Women Of Color (WOC) within & outside organizations, while ensuring that our words are heard, our lived experiences are respected and our contributions are valued.

There is a great rise in the WOC being part of the American corporate workforces as well as others industries, yet they are somehow underrepresented or are part of the first few or the only ones in the department/team. The corporate world structure is designed in such a way which is non accommodative of the WOC. Through this book, Deepa wants the WOC to acknowledge this as a reality & then advocates to use the deeply entrenched unique factors within them to the best of their abilities that will lead to transformation. We must pushback against the toxic culture lingering in the teams while embracing the valuable cultural viewpoints & experiences that give us unique perspectives at work. Deepa urges all the WOC to realize their own strengths (Deepa calls this as “power of me” and collective strength as “power of we”) & use it to confront microaggressions, workplace misconceptions, outdated norms to create a culture of belonging. As a former senior partner at a large global services firm, Deepa experienced these feelings of isolation and burnout. She met with hundreds of other WOC across industries and cultural backgrounds, eager to hear their unique and shared experiences. In doing so, she has come to understand our collective setbacks and path forwards in achieving our goals.

Deepa starts off talking about the delusions in our workplace. Delusions are the so called rules that have been set up around us. They are stories that have been told to us to be followed in a certain way. These delusions are unwritten rules of how Corporate America works. These delusions are all antiquated. We should recognize them as they have been set years ago which has lead to the corporate structures to be static and to keep power in the same hands for centuries now. It is high time that WOC should be moving out these delusions. Deepa enlists these delusions as below :-

1. We cant find you — Leaders often gravitate towards hiring women candidates who are like them, belong to the same race/country etc., unconscious bias, while ignore the ability of the talent hidden in women of color as the biases stand tall like accent of the language, ability to showcase skills, confidence etc.

2. Just be yourself — Corporate America does not require us to conform & assimilate to be successful. This myth has allowed companies and leaders to maintain the status quo while asking us to fit in. Each day WOC tries to fit into the corporate culture to that people around will perceive us in a way that is expected in the environment around us. The deep paradox is that the more we try to fit in, the more disempowered we become and the less we feel true to the belonging. The message here is that we are different from our white male leader who created the corporate ideal of leadership & the delusion we are told to be like him, when in actuality our differences are the one that set us apart

3. Just wait — The more senior WOC grows in their role, they felt even more pressure to fall in line and not to stand out as different from their peers. We have to let go of the fairy tale and realize that no matter what stage we are in our careers, each action to conform is actually a decision we make, even if it might not feel like it in the moment

4. I don’t see color — Most leaders say that they don't differentiate within people on the basis of color, but the unconscious bias does kick in. Deepa gives a great example of one of the incident which explained racism is like dust in the air. Asian women are typically shorter than the white women and yet the overhead luggage compartment of the airplane is always at a higher level where these short heighted women cant reach to place their luggage. Instead of blaming us and our height, we should realize that the system(airplane) is not designed to fit in our needs, hence we should not blame our features/meritocracy in any shape or form

5. Please share your thoughts — Another big delusion where leaders might ask you for your thoughts, but they really don't seem to care unless it aligns with them or is positive. The truth is the corporate system can reward groupthink and inhibit the forward progress that most companies say they are encouraging

6. That’s too political — Explicit discussion on race and organizational leadership is still considered taboo or irrelevant in the many business circles. The truth is that we need to alter and shock company cultures in new and uncomfortable ways if we want our workplaces to reflect the change we are trying to make in the world

7. Diversity, equity and inclusion will fix it all — These days diversity, equity and inclusion are all the big words which are used like a shield to protect every organization from any racism comments. Most of the CEOs have imbibed and is a board agenda item, but unfortunately its still just lip service within many companies. Many companies use it as a “propaganda” to make their company look good, but hardly practiced

8. Kill or be killed — If you fall for corporate rules and then make all the compromises/adjustments then you might get killed. If we want more diverse leaders to aspire corporate spaces, leadership must be redefined to include equality, empathy, fairness. Power is all about true to who you are, what you believe and what you stand for

9. Capitalism trumps all — Everyone knows by now that shareholders value dries all. Overworking and outperforming are our north stars. The singular focus on growth works for companies but does it work for society and for us as individuals? The truth is we cannot talk about capitalism without talking about power. And challenges in power have been created and exacerbated by capitalism

10. You got whitemanned — This term was new to me. It describes the belief that advancing WOC will take away the seats from others especially white men. The idea of scarcity is the most important mind shift we all need to make if we truly want to change traditional definitions of power. We have been living with the delusion that if we don’t outperform, then the next person will get the seat/opportunity. Instead we should be thinking of creating better work cultures and have greater equity. We cant have others think that they will loose if we rise. The pie doesn't have to be redistributed, it can always grow

Moving past these delusions is of prime importance, but equally important is to shed the messages that harm us as WOC. There exists numerous unwritten behaviors around us where instead of abiding to it, we should shed it all and continue to rise. We have always seen and associated success in corporate world with white men/women mostly. Hence, its easy for WOC to have that in mind and change our behavior/style that best suits it. Most of the experiences that Deepa shares in this section have a common theme of mindsets that we need to shed. Whiteness is not a qualifier for success, breaking all the typical stereotypes of cultural norms around us, shedding the mindset of why women cant think above and beyond to make a difference in the world. For some, shedding might mean leaving everything behind and following a completely new system that will lead to happiness. For many WOC in the workplace, shedding is realizing that the systems around you are unfair and some of the things you have been taught to strive for may not bring you happiness and may even disrupt the current illusions you are holding around contentment. Sometimes shedding requires a leap of faith. Shedding is about the person you haven't yet let yourself be. Once you shed what doesn’t serve you, you will make space for your own truth, discover yourself, be able to write your own narratives and decide what you want to carry forward.

During the shedding process, Deepa wisely reminds us of our root origins and how we should continue to carry them with us without shedding them. Traditionally, WOC have faced lot of atrocities because of how women were always mistreated, given less respect in the society, always taken for granted to take care of the house and such. But over the period of years, we have risen from all these struggles and come to the power. Though we have not completely moved away from our traditions, Deepa urges WOC to use this as an asset. Respecting elders, following a religion/tradition which instills imperative qualities in us like humbleness, the feeling of being grounded is all taught to us by these traditions and we should not disregard it anyway. Instead use this as an asset/sword to fight the battle of corporate culture and kill it in order to rise and shine as the goddess of victory. All these teachings that came to us from our birth are very critical. This adds to our uniqueness factor as we rise up to the ladder of success in the corporate world. We should shed the externalities not the internalities within us.

As a software professional myself, I realize that this might be easy to say but difficult to implement. But after gaining few years of experience, I feel this is very powerful. The reason of the change in my mindset was because I can so much correlate with the stories shared by Deepa. One that resonated with me the most is how we, the WOC, try real hard to “fit in”, fearing of ramifications that may happen if I don't try to fit in the corporate culture rules. But with more maturity and reading about other successful WOC in the corporate world, I have started believing it more as I have myself seen them rise through all situations. I concur with Deepa about how we emanate from our traditional origins and culture which is a distinguishable factor. I have started to not only believe it (from my gut), but also feel it (from my heart) and mean it (from my mind) as well.

Deepa also talks about the “Power of me”, which is essentially the realization of the power within us. As a WOC operating in the American corporate world, its easy to feel intimidated working with other white colleagues, low confidence due to the inability to speak fluent English and correctly conveying the message in precise words. I go through this ordeal each day at work where I feel low confidence speaking in a meeting, feeling of worthlessness working with smart and talented people around us etc. But just realizing & not enacting on it wont lead you anywhere. Hence, I started my reading journey, picked up books which came to me and started reading avidly, read newspapers, blogs, editorials, articles, listened to audio books, podcasts and interviews of great leaders which helped me shaped my thinking as well. Once I realized that my writing skills are not structured and organized as it should be, I started writing from the smallest experiences of my life till the emotions that I go through, book reviews of the books that I read etc. This all gives me tremendous pleasure and I cant think a weekend pass by without writing my journal/book reviews. With this action of reading and writing, I am trying to overcome my own fears of lacking confidence in reading and writing. My next step would be to modulate my voice a bit so that it sounds appealing and will help me in influencing people as I grow in my career. This happens to me when for instance I start talking in meetings. My improvement action to it is to start singing which will help modulate my voice so that it sounds better and this will lead me to gain more confidence even while speaking with others or in meetings. All these processes of reading, writing, voice modulating is a slow process which takes time to develop and its very exhilarating as well!

Once you realize the power of me, we should not forget the “Power of We”. The collective strength & energy that we as WOC can generate is immeasurable. This is because there are common factors which are the same values and traditions that we have been brought up with, our colossal capability to struggle with all the odds and great tenacity to take upon risks. By birth, females are born with strong mind and immense doggedness. Females have always proven to be more stronger than men mentally. If they decide to achieve or overcome a thing, they will go above and beyond to accomplish that. Deepa points us all to this basic strength of a woman that we should all converge, share our experiences, feelings and support each other at every step. Our intent should be to do good for all by looking into the bigger picture. If the WOC starts to bond well, then this will lead to collective strength and power of sisterhood with which we can break these corporate delusions and make it a better workplace accommodative of all.

Overall, I feel every women, irrespective of her color/caste and creed, should realize that we are an institution by ourselves with a varied combination of unique qualities. We are beautiful, strong, powerful, sisters/mothers & most importantly we are invincible. Without us, the world wouldn't have existed. Realize this power, feel it, mean it and live it as well :)